I watched Mel Robbins give a talk yesterday and she suggested a simple tool to build motivation and confidence: give yourself a high-five in the mirror every morning. That’s ridiculous, I thought. Then I tried it.
I brushed my teeth, gargled, and gave myself a high five. I laughed because it was, indeed, ridiculous. But when I laughed, something unexpected happened. I caught a glimpse of a motivating woman in the mirror. She was carefree, encouraging, playful, happy, and confident. She was MUCH better than harsh judge I usually see there.
Why is it that so many of us see the best in everyone else and the worst in ourselves? When my friends and loved ones are feeling down, I’m the first to encourage them and remind them of all their great qualities. When it comes to myself, I’m the first to spot the “fatal flaw.” I have a hunch I’m not alone. How can we show ourselves the same caring and compassion we give others? How can we stop beating ourselves up for what we haven’t accomplished, and start loving ourselves for exactly who we are?
After that silly little high five, I decided to take a vow of radical self-love. I invite you to join me.
I love myself when my stomach is fat and my gray roots are showing.
I love myself when I’m grumpy for no reason and snap at the kids.
I love myself when I have no makeup on, dirty underwear, and the same yoga pants I’ve worn for three days straight.
I love myself when I spot a new wrinkle between my eyebrows.
I love myself when I laugh even though I don’t get the joke.
I love myself when I overwater the corn tree and kill it…again.
I love myself when the yard is full of dog poop and last week’s clean laundry is STILL sitting crumpled in the basket.
I love myself when I do the “easy” yoga practice and find my muscles shaking within seconds.
I love myself when I go to take a photo and my phone is accidentally in selfie mode and I feel horrified by my three (yes, THREE!) chins.
I love myself when I make a to-do list and get nothing done.
I love myself when I go over my budget.
I love myself when I wake up in the middle of the night and stare at the ceiling thinking of all the mistakes I’ve made.
I love myself when I am boring, forgetful, irritable, annoying, and irrational.
I love myself when I relentlessly ruminate and run from challenges.
I love myself when I write bad sentences and use adverbs like “relentlessly.”
I love myself when I don’t write at all.
I love myself when I hide from the truth.
I love myself when I take the easy way out and feel like a coward.
I love myself when I mess up and look like a fool.
I love myself when I repeat the same self-defeating pattern, no matter how many times I swear I’m going to act/think/feel differently.
I love myself when I’m afraid.
I love myself.
Regardless of it all.
Because of it all.
Radically. Right now.